I don’t dream.
A psychic told me some years ago the reason is because dreaming adds a certain amount of sleep disruption. Since I burn the candles at both ends on a daily basis, my soul blocks any dreams so that I can recoup my energy.
Be that as it may, the subconscious has a way of slipping past the gatekeeper and delivering impactful messages that insist on being heard.
The last time this happened, I woke with a terrible feeling of doom and an overwhelming need to cry.
“Don’t leave me, Jett, please don’t leave me.”
Those words rushed past my lips unchecked seconds before the dream flashed back to me: My youngest son and I were traveling overseas. I didn’t know it at the time, but he had made plans to leave – without me. His silent departure left me in a country with unfamiliar streets and no friends. I searched for him everywhere, but ultimately it was me who was lost.
When I discovered he had flown back home, I tried desperately to book a flight to join him. I couldn’t. “They” wouldn’t let me. I’m not exactly certain who “they” were, only that the faceless people told me I couldn’t follow. I had no choice but to stay behind.
I cried for an hour after that. Regrets hit me hard. Grief set in. I was exhausted by the time my alarm rang.
So much for sleep.
But the message was clear. I couldn’t stop the inevitable path to becoming an empty nester. It was time for my son to use his wings that I helped prime. Acceptance was my only option.
That morning, I hugged my son with a new understanding. I remembered how it felt to be young and ready to leave home, to experience life outside my mother’s protective walls. For me, letting go was easy. I wasn’t so sure about her, though. I wanted my mother to be okay without me. I wanted her to have her own life and interests.
At this new and sometimes disorienting crossroad in the single parenting mindset, we can serve our children best by being happy, grounded, and emotionally and physically healthy. Only when our cup runneth over, will they benefit from the abundance. But, again, it’s a project. Oftentimes a daunting one, but not impossible.
As always, we will do whatever it takes to help our children along their path, from the moment of letting go to years down the road. If that means being the best we can be, it is a win-win situation. What could be more perfect than that?